I’m going to use this as somewhat of a prayer and confession booth this afternoon. First things first. I HATE satan! I can’t stand how he gets in my head, tells me little lies, and keep me distracted from God.
Honestly, I ccan’t even focus at all right now. As I begin looking for work, all I want to do is explore the things God might have in mind for me, but all I am able to do is dwell on how horribly difficult it is going to be to continue living in this place with a partime job and marginal support from outside sources…
And the biggest problem here is that I much like Paul, cannot, for the life of me, get it through my head that God is bigger than that. I’m trying to plan for a “rainy day,” and God is saying, “don’t take more than you need for today, otherwise it will spoil. I will provide for your needs as each new day rises.”
God is far bigger than any of my meager concerns. I ask for prayers that I will lift my eyes to God, Almighty and say with absolute sincerety and conviction, “where does my help come from? My help come from the LORD!” I’m tired of living in fear. It wears me out, it makes me angry and when I get right down to it, when I choose other pathways besides those laid out for me by God, life sucks. I’m tired, grouchy, stressed out, and frankly, I’M SICK OF IT! I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANY MORE!!
“God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
